Enough is enough.

My life is simple, and I like it that way. We live in a 2 bedroom apartment, we have money for groceries, the occasional date night, and a special treat every now and then. I can buy things for my home at the thrift store and crafting supplies for my new found love of "Do It Yourself" projects. I am madly in love with my husband and my daughter... we love to just "be" together... nothing fancy... eating dinner, watching TV, drinking coffee on Sunday morning (not the baby, we don't give her coffee). I have more wonderful friends and family than any one person deserves.

Why is this not enough in the eyes of "the world"? Why are we bombarded with messages and pressure to own a home, buy a new car, spend $120 on one pair of jeans, go on an all-inclusive vacation? And, more importantly, why do I believe this? Why do I have to remind myself everyday that I have enough?

In a world where there are parents abandoning their starving, dying children in Africa, where there is literally no food to be had and certainly, nobody is worrying about if they can find the perfect black leather boot for fall... I am striving to keep my life in perspective. I am so blessed to have been given all that I have. I have enough, and if I am still living in this apartment in 20 years... and if camping is all that we can afford for a vacation in 20 years... it will still be enough. THAT is what I am going to focus on today.

Who could ask for anything more??

I'm sorry, but when did you get so big?

My baby is going to be 5 months old next week. 5. months. old. When did this happen!? Everyone says to cherish every second because it goes by fast and let me tell you, "everyone" is not kidding around. Pregnancy feels about a million miles away but I cannot believe that my sweet angel has been here for 5 months already... nutty. 

I would like to share that I took those words to heart. All the words shared by experienced moms to snuggle my little one, and to watch her sleep, to let her sleep in my arms... (you'll be surprised to know that I'm feeling weepy just typing about this!)  All this being said, I spent the first 4 weeks of little May's life snuggling.  

 She was a great sleeper at night (slept in her crib since the first night we came home) but didn't really enjoy sleeping in there during the day so I just held her while she slept.  Yep, almost every nap for about 4 weeks (probably more but it's all a blur) was in mine or Chris' arms. 
 
There were times when I could not put her down... the weight of her asleep on my chest was so perfect, I couldn't let her go.  And there were times when I was frustrated that I couldn't put her down (because I didn't want to wake her up) and I would hold her for hours in the evening, just trying to stay awake until it was time for the last feeding before bed. 

OK, so the point of me sharing this is that I want new mom's to know that I do not regret this one teeny tiny bit. My little May is the sweetest little baby I know but she is not interested in sleeping in mama's arms anymore and I really look back and cherish all the time I spent snuggling with her while I could.  Now we have forced cuddling and May begrudgingly complies but I'm not sure she's going to do that for much longer. ;-)

Just look at how quickly they change!! This picture above was taken on Easter Sunday when May was 4 weeks old. The one below was taken just a few days ago... coming up on 5 months.

I'm pretty sure that the next time I blink, she'll be boarding the bus to kindergarten. sigh....

Cry Baby

Ummm, what's up with tear factory living in my body?

A short list of the things I have cried at this week:

• pictures of my sweet nephews playing at Gurnee Days (also cried again whilst telling the hubs about how sad I was to have missed such a fun time).
• I follow a blog written by a mom of a baby with brain damage (coincidentally, the baby's name is May) - anyways, I love to read about this sweet little girl. Mom just had a little boy and put a video of sweet little May reacting to her new brother (she can't really see very well and is not very much aware of what's going on around her) - this was one of the sweetest things I have seen in a long time - she was kicking her legs in delight and laughing. Adorable. Anyways, I didn't cry at the video or the post but at the comments people put on her post... 
• News story about the famine in Somalia - then again later when I was praying for my sweet May and telling her how blessed we are to know that we will always have food available to us. (Click here to see my blog about this, incase you missed it.) 
• Pictures of my friends new baby and her two big brothers and big sister doting all over her. so. sweet.

There is so much more that I cry about on a weekly basis (my baby's smile, my baby's cries, hallmark commercials, dog food commercials, wipe out, whatever) but I won't bore you with anymore details about that. Just wanted to share a bit about what a cry baby I am.  Just in case you are a cry baby too and wondering if you are the only one.  I'm here friend, and there is a pretty good chance that I'm crying.

Changing Gears... er, Diapers...

My last two posts were just a teensy bit heavy so I'm changing gears here.

Yes, we use cloth diapers. Now, if you haven't heard much about the wonders of modern cloth diapers then you probably think we are crazy, and you are in good company. If I had a nickle for every person who gave us the "are you crazy?" look when we told them we are using cloth... well, I'd have about a dollar. But, you get the idea.

That being said, I thought I'd write up a little number about my "cloth diaper experience" thus far. Please keep in mind that I am not, and should not be viewed as, any sort of cloth diapering expert. I did a little bit of research and talked to all of my cloth diapering friends before May was born - just enough so I could make a somewhat informed decision about which diapers I would buy, which one's I wouldn't buy and why. So, please take my opinions and recommendations with a grain of salt - there is SO much out there that I don't know about.

Why We Use Cloth
As soon as we found out we were pregnant, I decided we would need to do cloth to save money... that's really the number one reason we did it. The beauty of the cloth diaper is that you buy them once and they should last through multiple children so the savings in the end is incredible. Then, I proceeded to get incredibly overwhlemed by the billions of kinds of cloth diapers out there. Luckily, I have a friend who uses cloth and has a few different kinds at her house so she gave me a little tutorial to help me better understand the differences - this helped a lot and I was able to choose the kind that I wanted.

Why We Chose Pockets 
From what I can tell there are three basic "types" of diapers - prefolds, All-in-One's and Pockets. 

I will not write to much about prefolds since we didn't use them. But, I believe they are the cheapest option and some folks swear by them, especially for newborns.  Prefolds are those cloths that are mostly used as burp cloths nowadays - with the three panels - the most absorbent one in the middle. I couldn't figure out how to properly fold them onto the baby and I knew that the hubs would have a hard time with this as well - and he's quite involved in the diaper changing when he's home so I eliminated these almost immediately (had bought a few prefolds and borrowed some covers to try them out).  

What seems to be the easiest (but also most expensive) diapers are All-in-one's (AIO's). AIO's are convenient because they are basically like a disposable - you don't have to deal with an insert or extra "folding" like a prefold - you just put them on the baby and wash them and you're done... like a washable disposable diaper. I haven't used these but I have heard that they take forever to dry (lots of absorbent material in there) and they might hold onto smells (gross).

We use pocket diapers which are basically like a diaper shell with a pocket in them and they come with an insert that you put in the pocket. You wash the shell and the insert after each use.  After I wash the diapers I stuff the inserts back into them and plop them on the changing table so that they are ready to go with no work at each diaper change.

We chose pockets because I liked that the inserts came out for washing (unlike AIO's) and that you can alter the amount of absorption based on need. For example, we use two inserts for overnights - we wouldn't be able to do this with AIO's. And, there just seems to be more options out there for pocket diapers - most brands make them and they go on sale often. 

So, how do they work?
Try to contain your excitement - here come the photos. :-)

We have a few different kind of pocket diapers:

FuzziBunz one size diapers adjust to your growing baby with adjustable leg gussets. I thought this looked complicated at first but it's really not. You adjust both sides of the elastic to fit snuggly around the baby so nothing escapes - if you have a skinny baby, this is a life saver! We have many other "one-size" diapers that don't work on our long skinny baby yet because the leg gussets are too big for her still.

This is a FuzziBunz one size diaper with snap fastner

Close up shot of the adjustable elastic

Most of our diapers are one-size diapers but I did get a few sized diapers when they were on sale - these are certainly quite simple since you don't have to adjust the rise or the leg gussets - just put them on the baby until they grow into the next size.

This is a FuzziBunz sized (small) diaper with snap fastner

Most of our diapers are the white BumGenius (4.0) one size diaper with velcro fastner. We got a great deal with these thanks to a friends discount :-). I LOVE the velcro fastner - it's so fast and easy to take the diaper on and off (like a disposable) and it seems like we can get the best fit with these. BUT, it definitely seems like the velcro is probably going to wear out sooner than the snaps will.

This is a BumGenius one size diaper with a "hook and loop" fastner (velcro)

These also grow with the baby - the only thing you change is the rise using the snaps in front.

There are three rises - this diaper is set on the middle one (one snap is undone so you can see how it works)

Most of these are stuffed the same way:

Open and ready for stuffing

Here's the insert

And here's the insert half way in - a properly stuffed diaper will have this all the way in and flat inside the diaper - you don't want it all wrinkled up and bunching in there.

Here are a few different inserts/pocket diapers that are a little different from the basics outlined above:

The BunGenius diapers come with a small insert for when the diaper is on the smallest setting (it's also less absorbent) and this insert that you can change the size of using the snaps. See the photo below for insert snapped to a medium size. It also snaps to a small size but that felt a little bulky to me and we just used the small inserts that came with the diapers until we needed more absorption and were switching to the medium rise on the diaper.

BumGenius insert snapped for medium size

This is a "SmartiPants" diaper - My cloth diapering friend told me about these and I LOVE them because the pocket opens on both ends of the diapers - this means you don't have to take the insert out after a diaper change - just plop it in the pale and the insert will come out during the wash (more on washing later!) You stuff the insert in and make sure it's flat all the way across.

Then straighten out the diaper so the insert is not showing on either end - You don't want the wet/soiled insert touching baby's skin.

A Few More Random Thoughts 

• Remember that your diapers should last through multiple children - so buy neutral colors! The colors are super cute but you can't match them to baby's outfit because as soon as you put the matching one on, it's time to change the diaper anyways. :-) We have a few pink or flowery one's because I just couldn't resist but most of ours are white, yellow and blue incase we have a little boy someday. And it seems like the cuter the diaper (cute patterns, bright colors, etc.) the more expensive the diaper. Don't get sucked in, it's not worth the money!
• If you get sized diapers, the size they will be in the longest is medium so stock up on those! We are switching May into her medium sized diaper soon and she's just about 5 months.  And she'll probably be in those until she's about 1 and a half depending on her weight.
• Buy your diapers on sale!! There are tons of baby discount websites that run daily half-off deals - I bought all of our diapers this way (except for the one's we registered for). Some of the sites I use are:
• http://www.greenbabybargains.com
• http://www.babyhalfoff.com
• http://www.babysteals.com
• http://www.ecobabybuys.com

        There are so many more but these are just the one's I use

• Register for diapers! Babies r Us has BumGenius now and Charlie Banana (or something like that, haven't used those though).  Or you can register on Amazon and lots of other websites.
• Remember there are a ton of other cloth diapering options out there - this is just what I know about.  There are combo AIO/pocket dipes, there are combo cloth/disposable dipes (disposable liners that you place inside the diaper, we may explore this once May is eating more solids :-). There are shells that don't have a pocket - you snap the insert right into the shell and so much more.
• AND, be ready to see the "are you crazy?" face when you tell people you are doing cloth. :-)

More to come on caring for the diapers. :-) I know, you can't wait.

My heart is breaking.

So, if you know me, then you know that I do not like to be sad. I don't watch "sad" movies (or even movies with animals because that almost always makes me feel sad, bad, or sorry for something/someone), I change the channel during a sad news story, I don't watch Extreme Home Make Over because it makes me cry, I don't ponder things that will tug at my heart strings. I try to avoid these emotions. And, since having this sweet little baby of mine, I cry quite easily... at the sight of another baby even :) so I've really had to step up my game to avoid the overflow of emotions.


Well, this morning the walls came tumbling down. I turned on the Today Show and the first story I saw was about the famine crisis in Somalia. Ann Curry was going around talking with parents and grandparents about their children who have starved to death. There were images of small emaciated children with their ribs showing through their skin, covered in flies and laying on a mat on the ground. They shared a story of a family who lost their eldest child to the famine (no doubt because he was surrendering his food to his younger siblings), and their youngest child, a 2 year old, was in the hospital because he only weighed 6lbs. (Here is a link to the story: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/44143019#44143019)

And then it happened, I burst into tears. I tried to imagine my sweet angel May crying up at me because she is starving and not being able to meet her needs.  I couldn't fight the images in my head of my sweet baby dying because there is no food and there is nothing I can do to help her. 

I feel so helpless and so out of control in a situation like this, so I am turning to my social media addiction to try and "do something," anything really.  Please know that it is not my intention to try and guilt anyone into doing anything. I TRULY believe that ignoring this crisis is simply not an option. We all have something to spare. One dollar might not be much to you - but to the starving people in Somalia it means as many as 40 meals. Maybe you have "nothing to spare" in terms of the American life but please consider what your small change can do for these people who are living off of a half cup of food at best.


Below are some links that you can follow to make a donation or to read some of the stories coming back from the humanitarian workers. PLEASE PLEASE don't ignore this because it's hard to face the facts - please grab your wallet and help today.


World Vision: http://www2.worldvision.org/news/drought-hunger-malnutrition-kenya
World Relief: https://worldrelief.org/SSLPage.aspx?pid=3066
Text any of these organizations to donate $10 (source: CNN.com)
text "SURVIVE" to 20222 - Save the children
text "NOHUNGER" to 20222 - Action Against Hunger
text "FOOD" to 864233 - Unicef
Test AFRICA" to 80888 - International Medical Corps
Text "AID" to 27722 - United Nations World Food Programme
text "4AFRICA" to 20222 - World Vision

This article from CNN.com has a good wrap up of the various reliable ways to donate if you would like more information: http://www.cnn.com/2011/WORLD/africa/07/20/iyw.howtohelp.somalia.famine/index.html

I'm shocked.

There is a crisis in Africa - children are starving and dying and I bought a frappuccino today.


Whilst twittering tonight I scrolled past several tweets in a row posted by an old friend, Kristi Stephens. Kristi has an amazing heart for God and always has a worthy cause that she's fighting for.  I admire Kristy so much.  I'm feeling a bit disgusted with myself right now - this is the first tweet of Kristi's that I actually read: More than 29,000 children, under the age of 5, have perished in the last 90 days in southern Somalia alone. http://is.gd/hdw4Gs. And you know what I did? I thought to myself, "I don't want to read about something so depressing..." and I almost didn't click.  Almost.


Kristi's next tweet read: "Mothers are being forced to abandon their weak or sick children in order to save the remaining others." - http://is.gd/hdw4Gs. As a mother, I am so disgusted that I almost didn't click that link. I can't even begin to fathom what this would be like and I don't want to have to think about it so I just wanted to walk away.

I didn't walk away.  I clicked the link and I'm glad I did. I couldn't ignore what I read.


Please do read the article yourself. Please decide if you can help. These people need prayer and they need money. $1 provides 40 meals - yes, that's it. You can donate $10 by texting WORLDHELP to 85944 -- that's 400 meals in the 5 seconds it will take you to send one text message.

My May-Bug

Let's pick up where we left off...
March 25, 2011 ---- the. best. day. ever.

Miss May Florence Winn graced us with her presence at 8:21am  - she was 9lbs, 6oz and 21 inches long!

No wonder I was SO HUGE at the end of my pregnancy.  She was technically only one week late (according to the doctors due date)... but, according to MY due date she was two weeks late.  Who do you think was right? I mean, 9lbs 6oz? C'mon.

Labor and delivery was a breeze (thanks to my little friend, "epidural") - From the time my water broke to the time she was out it had been about 9 hours... not too shabby!

May was SUCH a good baby from the get go - she never had her days and nights mixed up (she would get up to eat at night and go right back down... what a peach!) and she started sleeping through the night (8-9 hr stretches) at 5 weeks! Yep, we are lucky parents. I like to take a tiny bit of credit for her sleeping habits... for two reasons... One is genetics... I LOVE to sleep so I think she takes after me :-) and Two is sleep training... sounds nutty but I really did start working on this at 2 weeks old (not letting her scream and cry in her crib or anything crazy like that, well not at 2 weeks at least) and we still work on it now (she's 4.5 months as I'm writing this).

The first 2.5 weeks flew by! My mom was here and living on our couch (thanks to our lovely one bedroom apartment) for the first week - she cooked and cleaned and let me cry as much as I needed to... it was SO good to have her here! Then Chris' mom was here for about a week and a half and she didn't stay with us but she got here around 7am everyday to make me breakfast and help me take care of little May since Chris was back at work already... what a blessing our mom's are!

Here are some of my fave pics from her first month!

40 weeks in pictures...

Last time you heard from me was August of 2010 - I was 8 weeks pregnant and getting ready to take a 60 mile stroll around Chicagoland.  Let me start around that time!
July 8, 2010 - We're pregnant! (little May was just a poppy seed sized twinkle in my eye, er.... belly)

12 Weeks

15 Weeks









Around 15 weeks Lynnette and I shipped off to Turks and Caicos (in the middle of the atlantic ocean... SO. Beautiful.) for Ken and Nicole Viggiano's wedding (formerly Nicole Baksha).  It was an amazing week in the most beautiful place I had ever seen!

When we got home from Turks and Caicos I found out that my dear sweet Nana (and May's namesake - Florence) had passed away earlier that day. She lived a beautiful and full life and is hanging with Jesus now but we still miss her so much!

18 Weeks

20 Weeks

22 Weeks

27 Weeks

at 30 weeks we shipped off to Colorado for Shaunes and Brian's wedding! The Haapala's were joined in holy matrimony on New Years Eve in a castle in Colorado Springs - it was so romantic!

Around 31 weeks I had the blessing of gathering together with a bunch of my pregnant friends (believe it or not, this was not all of them!) -- Here we are with the babies still tucked neatly inside our bellies standing in order of due date - Heather is first, I am last (even though I'm almost the biggest!)

32 Weeks

At 35 weeks my very amazing friends threw me a totally awesome 80's themed baby shower! It was so so fun!

Caitlin was due one month after me! :-)

36 Weeks

41 Weeks - prepare to pity me... just a few days before little May finally decided to join us on the outside! :-)